Letter from Martine
My Theatre Buddy had seen it on the website. She had been looking for a way to claim a refund for the shows we hadn’t seen because of the lockdown. ‘A Letter to the Lyceum’, she said. It’s a way to engage with the theatre whilst it’s shut. They want to know how the audience feels when there are no live performances to enjoy.
You could write one. Tell them how much we miss them. Tell them how much we enjoy the plays and the wee gins in the bar beforehand. Tell them how friendly the Front of House staff are when they direct us to our seats which we could probably find blindfold, we’ve been so many times.
Tell them how you nearly wet yourself laughing at that line in The Venetian Twins; what was it? “Marry him and you’ll be farting through silk for the rest of your life.” Tell them how you cried at The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe when the confetti came down, just before the interval. That was even before Aslan had been killed and I laughed at you for being so soft, but ended up crying as well.
Oh, and tell them about that bossy woman who was so offended at the language used in The Duchess of Malfi that she left at the interval. Her husband didn’t want to go, remember, and made a fuss. Listening to them arguing was almost as good as the play.
But don’t mention that we hid our sweets during Cockpit when the soldier came round the stalls and said that all foodstuffs were now common property and would be confiscated. I wasn’t sharing my mint creams with anyone. And don’t tell then you called the woman in the lift a boozy wee bimbo when she wouldn’t move to let us in because she was holding a glass of wine in each hand.
Just tell them we miss them; that each Saturday afternoon is just the same as any other, without a play to look forward to with your Theatre Buddy. How many Seasons have we seen together? Nine? Ten? Going to the Lyceum is so much more than just seeing a play.
And you could tell them to forget about the refund; we just want them back. Soon.
Till the curtain comes up once more,
Tags: From Audience