Letter from Roisin
To the Lyceum,
So I’ve been trying to replicate the feeling of a theatre in my own home. No no - hear me out, it’s not my fault you’ve gone and shut down, so don’t get up on your old high horse and say it’s not the same. I know it’s not - I’ve not got nearly enough gold or velvet. You’ve got it easy, you’ve got glamour and decadence built in. You’ve got three floors and two bars and a chandelier. I live in a flat - I’m doing my best. I’ve bought a few red velvet cushions, and threw some popcorn about the living room floor. I had a neighbour dress up all in black and shout across the street for me to get off my phone. I’ve even tried doing a one woman standing ovation but it’s just not the same. In fact, just to clarify, there’s nothing sadder.
And actually - just listing all that out looks a bit mad. My neighbours don’t talk to me anymore. I think it’s probably on account of the bells I’ve started setting off at three, two, one minutes to the hour. I only do it at 7pm so I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s the least they can do to humour me when I’ve put up with their jogging, and their clapping - ok don’t look at me like that, I clapped too - I think we’ve established I love a round of applause.
But just to go back to that chandelier thing - I think you’ve probably forgotten about it. It’s been there so long - just a big sparkly part of you. You know - that big lamp. I tell you we’ve got nothing like that in our flat. We’ve had to stick a load of old sequins and bits of glass to the lampshades and hope for the best, but as I say, it’s really not the same thing. Not nearly pretty enough. Can you imagine if they’d done that in Phantom of The Opera? No - you’re right, completely ridiculous.
I haven’t quite figured out what it is that’s missing - I mean yes, a lack of grandeur, yes, a complete disregard for reality, yes a lack of actors and audiences and the general sense of joie de vivre. But in my defence you make it look so easy. And for what it’s worth, I hope you’re doing the same. I hope you’re applauding yourself, I hope you’ve put on a show or two for the old ghosts. As someone once said - it’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights - The Muppets, it was The Muppets that said that. But who better to quote when you’re missing the theatre. Anyway - what was I saying? Oh - I hope you're well.
Roisin Sheridan Bryson
Tags: From Audience